I'm really frustrated with my family right now. There have been "things" going on which (I think) require the attention of everyone called family. When Michael's accident first occurred, I was bombarded with text messages and phone calls updating me on his status. This is good!
Once Michael's surgery was completed, my phone and my computer became...in family terms...silent. I've been waiting for over a week to hear an update on Michael's status. The most recent update I had was from my sister Julie - who is in upstate New York - that he is home. Why did Julie know this? Because Julie is on facebook. I'm not even sure she's spoken to Amy since Michael's accident.
Well, I'm not on facebook and don't intend to be. The fact that I am being left out on updates regarding Michael's progress offends me greatly. Tonight, I sat on my porch and really did wait for my phone to ring. It didn't. I sent a text to: Amy, David, and Luana. Nobody responded.
I'm sorry I'm not there with them in Colorado! There's no place I'd rather be -- and I say that with my whole heart and my entire being. I miss my family.
Do any of those people I call "family" have any idea how hard it is to live so far away from your "entire" family? Especially with something "important" going on...I want to be there to help! I want to be there to take Amy out for coffee or out for a beer. But I can't. I'm in fucking Massachusetts...fucking Worcester! What the heck am I supposed to do? Why won't anybody be in touch with me?
When mom died, it was such a wonderful experience for me. Yes, it was sad, and tragic. But Jamie, Amy, Mark, David, Julie and I were together. Almost 24/7, we were there. We re-created the bond that had started 25 years ago. It was beautiful. It was fun. It made me a new person, because I felt like I had a new family...horrible as the whole experience was. Now? Not so much.
I miss my family. I don't want to go to bed angry with them. But my phone's not ringing, and nobody is texting me, so I guess I'll just go to bed mad.
Do I think they'll call tomorrow? Maybe. Maybe I won't feel like talking. Maybe I'll still be mad. Do I like this? NO!
I'm feeling very frustrated. And I'm still waiting for my birthday card from my dad...two weeks overdue!...that he told me a week ago was in the mail. NOT! Thanks, Dad. This is a first. Mom would be so very embarrassed. I miss Mom so much.
Yup, it's about Mom. It's not about the dysFUNctional family. It's about Mom. We're lost without her. God bless you, Patricia Jewel Johnson Hutchinson! You were here earlier, running your fingers through my new haircut, loving it. Thanks for that special moment!
As for the "rest of the family" - BIG RASPBERRIES to you. Have fun, whatever you're doing. Please don't bother to take the time to try to remember me in any of your family activities.
I'm off to bed now....MAD!!!